Rough Monday

So I feel the usual routine creeping up on me now. I get depressed, I don't get out of bed, nothing gets done, I fall behind in classes, and the semester doesn't end well. :-/ Today i am missing both of my classes; partially because I am feeling not rainbows and butterflies today and partially because I don't have enough gas in my car to get to and from Lincoln. The latter wouldn't even be a factor if I had money in my bank account to put gas in my car. This poor student stuff just really isn't working out for me.

I have a Wind Energy Conference to attend tomorrow and Wednesday. I am very excited about it. That is the one thing that puts a smile on my face. There are so many things pulling in all different directions right now I don't know how to calm them all down.

1. Grades aren't that great for the semester..
2. My club that I am President of is falling apart.
3. I have very, very few friends I can talk to about anything here.
4. I'm so broke I can't even put gas in my car to go to class.
5. I just don't know what to do to get things working smoothly :(

I need to move to Lincoln, but I can't really afford it. I need to get a new job, but the odds of moving laterally in pay and benefits somewhere else is pretty slim to none. I desperately need to study, but I still haven't found a very effective way.

There are so many things that I just don't know how to fix. Yesterday was just a horrible day and today is residual from it, but all the above listed are things that are constant. They don't go away. Most of the time I think I have done a pretty good job at keeping my chin up and looking ahead, but the end of it all isn't near close enough for me.

I am beginning to think, of all the wrong decisions I have made in my life, quitting my job out in Vegas and moving here has moved to the top of the list. I don't think I have ever been so stressed in my life. I could have gone to the University out there and finished there. I may not have been able to take on a full load, but at least I'd be there with all my friends, and I'd have more of a support system. I'm pretty much in a hole I am not going to be able to get myself out of any time soon now.

I just want to be done. I need to get far, far away from all of this. Today is a dark day... I probably shouldn't blog anymore about it. I hope the weather is nice. Maybe when I decide to leave my room I'll go for a long run and then a ride on my motorcycle... That usually helps.

“If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change.”
-- John A. Simone, Sr.